Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
