and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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