She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Even my vagina gasped.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
