You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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