We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
