Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
