I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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