Michael Bay diarrhea
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
