I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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