i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Your cock deserves a montage
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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