I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
