Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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