is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
