No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize