Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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