dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
