omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
