perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
