I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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