What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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