Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
