capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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