The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize