I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
