dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
