she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
