you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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