I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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