So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
