just come out here and I will go home with you...
only if we run a train.
done.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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