so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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