Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter