What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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