Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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