My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
