u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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