So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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