We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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