So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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