in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
