I wish I could teleport
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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