Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
