1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
