I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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