no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
