You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
