So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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