I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
