my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
