i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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