nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
