So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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