i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
