I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
