I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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