listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
