you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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