Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
