I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
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No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
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I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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