I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
