yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
